Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
