He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
