I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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