The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
