I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I look better un-naked...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Can I color on your dick again?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
