you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
