Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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