Who wears a wallet chain?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
birth control should be required to get into college
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
