I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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