Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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