She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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