Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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