Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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