Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
