There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize