Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
