Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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