Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize