carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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