I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
