i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
