Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
