Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
