Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
