dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
