I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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