That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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