normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
