North Korea, Best Korea!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
