I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
