R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
