I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
