So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
