one two three fourrrrnication!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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