Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Drake has all the answers
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
