for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
