I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
