And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
