it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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