Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
