Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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