dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
