My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
