atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
