so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
