I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
well, you know. whores of a feather.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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