"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
