I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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