Who did Billy Mays play for?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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