so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
