Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
