You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
someone owes me an orgasm
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
