wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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