forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
