Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
