I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
