so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
