Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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