You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
