then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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