I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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