..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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