Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
