did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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