thus making me awesome and them whores
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
