READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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