So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
