I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
