i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
