I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
